The first images proving the narratives about Hydra date back to 700 BC. Perhaps it's not quite what you expected to read after the headline? I promise there's a reason for it. Greek mythology portrayed Hydra as a serpentine with multiple heads releasing a deathly gas which could hit anyone around it. Only with a simple breath people could catch the gas. Apparently Hercules fought back against Hydra, but sorry that I couldn't find narratives proving he actually made it!
I do feel confident, however, in telling you that the story of Hydra is among the first proofs of toxic weapons in human history, even if it's a narrative worn out by the post-modern West. Middle Ages and Renaissance, on the other hand, brought up real-life cases that document the use of poisons to kill. It wasn't until the First World War, during a battle in 1915, that humanity witnessed the first deployment of toxic gases as an efficient weapon in warfare, ending the lives of about 10,000 people.
That event is as horrific and as inhuman as the original definition of toxicity. Sadly, the use of that type of chemical weapon didn't end there; we've seen the evolution and their use reaching a point where it can end life in masses from one minute to another. That evolution, readers, is toxic. The chemicals used are toxic. We need no debate to agree that such ingredients, instruments and weapons are all toxic.
But ever since a particular single was launched by a very well-known pop artist in 2003, I have struggled to accept the irresponsible way in which you call your ex toxic. See? I refuse to compare the effect of invisible exposure to a dangerous gas on your organism with an artist performing as a cabin crew in the hall of what seems to be a plane.
That plane scene is as fake as the definition of a toxic relationship. A toxic boyfriend. A toxic girlfriend. You name it. When people label something or someone as toxic, it makes me just wonder about the subject labelling rather than the object being labelled. Why is there a need to cover up what is already evident? Why do we want to believe we can run away from problems or problematic people by throwing the toxic card on them? They won't go away unless we face our inner thoughts - and assign them the correct term.
Because dating is the most common ground where one hears the misuse of toxicity, let's do the exercise of digesting potential thoughts one can come across. Shall we?
Falling in love is scary. Most of us fear what we don't know.
No one wants any disappointment near their horizon.
You believe it's the right thing to keep the feelings for yourself.
You don't want to ask them out too often because, well, it's all going too fast.
You don't want to text back because you don't want to give mixed signals.
Better not to make obvious the future you dream of with them after a first date.
It's not surprising to see many people protecting their feelings like big bankers do with your investments. The little thing is that capital is always at risk. And such risk is as unpredictable as the reasons why some people spend their lives fearing disappointment. If you agree that you'll never finish knowing yourself, how are you supposed to know your date more than what you know about yourself?
It's never clear their motivations to prioritise protecting themselves before protecting others. And I have no attempt to make a judgement here. So long as they don't judge those whose thoughts are different, those who, like me, would rather express their feelings in a relationship.
Yes, in a relationship, I am one of those who show what I care about and whom I care about. No, I'm not toxic. My breathing does not contain poisonous gas. No, it's not because I'm Latino. Feelings belong to humans regardless of their place of birth (as far as I'm aware). No, I'm not insecure. Isolating your thoughts and keeping your feelings away from your couple is not a synonym for security either.
Since when expressing what you feel to someone who feels the same became toxic? Oh right, my theory remains 2003. All of sudden: writing a love letter, grabbing each other hands, telling each other "love you" before starting the day -every day-, showing your partner off to your friends and family, it all becomes a "chemical weapon" to some people, apparently.
I'd rather be labelled as an old-fashioned naive. Or actually, I would prefer not to be labelled, if you give me the choice. If I'm texting someone back after a date, or imagining a future together, or expressing the emotions surrounding love, it all belongs to me. I take full responsibility on that. And so I hope for those who struggle to face their fears and thoughts about relationships by throwing the toxic card on others just because we choose to match our words with our feelings.
It's really not an easy hope. Pretty much impossible. As much as I emphasise how society has completely missed the understanding of what toxic and toxicity mean, this last decade has seen physical, financial, sexual, psychological and other types of abuse being dangerously reduced from domestic violence and serious crimes to toxic behaviour. Almost like a "culture" that leaves room for criminals to understand crime as a matter of interpretation.
That, dear readers, is the noise I hear when someone mistakenly calls their date toxic. Certainly more chaotic than the noise a fake plane engine produces in fake clouds.
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