The world where society works in a way that social behaviour is consistent with what people want and what they say they want is a paradise hard to imagine beyond this blog post. We all might agree that the reality will always be different.
It might be well known that humanity is immersed in unprecedented chaos. I must apologise to you if such chaos is caused by people like me. When I get asked what I want to do, I say what I really want. And problems arise whenever I try to do what I said I wanted. It is as if being inconsistent is what life should be about; a world whose logic involves no logic, and anyone who opposes it is, by default, a source of chaos.
My parents often asked me to apologise for being honest to my family. I stopped worshipping heroes who promised the moon and turned out to be afraid of the night. Friends -no longer friends- told me to follow my heart but left me halfway because the journey was not in their direction. An ex-partner said how much they loved me, and a few days later, they took a plane to fly out of town (Was I actually "the town"? I wonder now).
These things together picture the chaos that I represent. I refuse to be part of the smoke dichotomy in which either you sell the smoke or you buy it. And I'd dare to say that societies around the world operate based on that smoke made of inconsistency and double morals. This toxic behaviour leaves little or no room for those who, like me, try to be honest to themselves and honest to the world.
But hey! In other more mesmerising news, just as different means good, chaos means beauty. People like me build a smoke-free room by ourselves and welcome anyone who embraces authenticity. Without any attempt to label people, I'd instead just label the rooms. Maybe I'm in a stage of life where I struggle to lie and enjoy being true to myself -and perhaps I want to join the bigger room, the one with smoke, at some other point in life-. Apologies in advance if that ends up being the case.
You will know I am part of the smoke business whenever I start moaning about heat waves in Summer and seasonal depression in early November. Keep the telly on, and end up scrolling through TikTok. Criticising the "Woke Agenda" and disacknowledging a millennial indoctrination on heterosexuality. Making a cup of tea, waiting for it to cool off, and then forgetting about it. Praising world peace but not letting passengers off the train first.
That heavy smoke-seller starter pack needs to unfold if I aim to remain in the small, chaotic, yet beautiful room of consistency.
Behaviour 1
Those who brag about the number of things they will do and very few things get done.
Their list of things to do is endless. You share with your friend one idea for going out this weekend, and they have three ideas way better than yours. One out of three happen, and the other two get cancelled or postponed for multiple reasons that they could not see coming, of course. For people who behave this way, there's always time to make plans. But there's barely time in which the plan actually happens. In other words, they invite you for a coffee, but you'll have to pay for yours.
Behaviour 2
Those who brag about the number of things they will do, and nothing ever gets done.
If you think you have a friend who could fill any awkward gap of silence with an empowering self-developing story, they are likely the ones who know how to sell smoke the best. The mixing of emotions, feelings and non-stop talking stands out from any other behaviour as the best recipe to make one believe whatever they want one to believe.
Think of a team project back in school days, that one classmate delegating functions for each team member to then present the research and work that others did. Let us not confuse apples with pears here. Delegating to achieve a common goal is certainly a skill that leaders have. Delegating for the sake of avoiding work is a skill smoke-sellers have.
Relationships are likewise exposed to it. If you had a partner who found in you a full-time cleaner, cooker and therapist, perhaps you are the ideal replacement for their hard-working mother, but younger. If you find it difficult to put an end to it, let's jump into the next one.
Behaviour 3
Those who believe in people with behaviours 1 or 2, and set up expectations.
This is a bit of a tricky one. Most of us, if not everyone, have fallen at least once into this behaviour where not only do we believe in what people want us to believe in, but we also set up expectations and invest in our feelings and emotions as if we were investing in a stock market where capital will not be at risk. It is human to believe in humans and is well seen to be optimistic about the end result of their promises.
That's why this behaviour is tricky. Tricky to know when we're crossing an invisible line in which we tend to fall into every single promise we hear from people we think we know well enough. This might come across as a compliment to smoke sellers; with their equipment, they can surpass your goodwill and any salesperson's target.
Behaviour 4
Also known as the smoke-free room:
It's pretty much those who believe in people with behaviours 1 or 2, and have no expectations about the end results. At first, I thought I would like to believe I fit in this behaviour for many years; yes, the behaviour that creates chaos in any setting. The problem I encountered is that a complete absence of belief in people somehow diminishes my purpose in life.
I chose then to keep some sort of balance. I chose to believe one or two people, and I gave them a few free tickets to disappoint me, yet I try to be equal and give back that trust and commitment. No matter what formula works best for you, beware of when the smoke enters the room.
You might not get the symptoms that a passive smoker has when they are surrounded by smokers. But selling smoke is, under all circumstances, a habit, a toxic habit that, even if you refuse to buy it, will catch your breath the second you get close to a seller.
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